Inspirational Story: The Best Day of My Life - so far!

In reading this story, I can't help but think about how ones life can change when they get that something off their chest, whether it is a question that they need answered or something that they are keeping inside of them, that is slowly killing them... This story is one of them, this is the reason so many people that commit crimes have to come clean to somebody. When you either tell someone about something that is bothering you or get a question answered that you have always wanted to know but just didn't know how you would deal with the answer... getting it out in the open will lift a heavy weight off your chest!



Inspirational Story... The Best Day of My Life - so far!

Yesterday was the best day of my life!
The very best day - without any doubt at all.

Let me explain. All of my life I have felt different; detached; often lonely; fearful (to the point of feeling that absolute dread was about to happen); didn't fit in; underlying sadness;repeated self-sabotage; and a variety of other extremely strong negative emotions - despite all that I was achieving!

At certain times in my life I have wondered about these strong emotions, and deep down have felt that I was adopted, and simply didn't have a feeling of deep connection with my family. I am the eldest of 3 children: a brother 2 years my junior; and a sister 5 years my junior.

My work as a Personal Development Coach has led to me working with many people with abandonment and/or separation issues, and each and every time I could actually 'feel' the emotions and personal energy of the people concerned. I could connect 100% with how they were feeling - and why! I could explain the process to them of how and why they were feeling these seemingly crazy emotions, even when sometimes they felt them when one of their loved ones (husband or wife or even children) were only going to work or school for the day. These feelings of mine often led to me thinking that one day I should ask my Mother whether I was adopted, because they were so strong, that I have actually believed that I've been right for many years now, and that I WAS adopted.

Time has passed, and passed, and passed - with no question to Mum. Until yesterday that is!

Yesterday morning I awoke with a feeling of dread running through every cell in my body. Dread and fear and doubt - and wonder if I should ask about these feelings about adoption today.

Later in the day I was having a chat with my daughter and she told me that she was moving out of our area to live, to take on a project which was a great chance for a new experience for her (and her partner). In the middle of being told about this new adventure (which normally I would encourage 100%) I burst out crying, uncontrollable emotions started to shake my insides - to a point of where I was actually sobbing.

The idea of another separation from her was shattering news for me - even though she was only going to be about 2 hours away by car. The memory of her adventure to Northern Queensland and Darwin a few years ago brought up all of my stuff. All the stuff that had plagued me for way too long now!

She was as shocked as I was, and after I reassured her that I was OK, I immediately decided to ring my dear old Mum who lives down the road about 130 K's in Sydney, and ask her if I was adopted. Today was the day: not another moment was to be wasted - and I rang immediately. Fortunately, Mum wasn't home, so I rang my Sister. Mum was on her way to Judy's place so I asked Sis if she would explain to Mum that I had called, and that I wanted to know if I was adopted. Although she almost fainted, she was very comfortable with that approach, as it would be gentler on Mum, regardless of what the answer actually was. The best part of this process so far was that I asked my sister to explain to Mum that I had no negative feelings around what I was asking; and that I wasn't angry with her, or anyone else for that matter! I just needed to know.

I hung up the phone, and I waited for what seemed like the longest half hour of my life.

When the phone eventually rang I was in a space that I'd never felt before in my life. I knew that I was about to have the most amazing conversation with my Mother that I had ever had. How right I was. Intuition is a powerful thing: that inner voice is often shouting for us to listen and act. Fortunately, I usually do; it's just that this particular action had taken so long to get to become a reality!

This is what I heard on the most important day of my life: "Hello my Darling, Judy has told me about your question, and if I were there looking you straight in the eye, and I wish that I were, I would have to say yes, you were adopted".

Because I knew that Mum had been told that I was OK with whatever the answer was, I quickly told her that I was the most relieved I had ever felt in my life, at that moment. That her answer had explained in the blink of an eye what I had felt all of my life. That it explained every day of my life! That it explained every single topsy-turvy and seemingly irrational emotion I had ever felt! I felt healed in that single moment to a point I never thought was possible! The feelings ran riot through every cell in my body! In that moment I was completely changed, and for the first time in my life I felt the love and connection to my family which had always been missing (for me). That may sound crazy and irrational and it may seem upside down; but it's something that I had been processing for years, and now I knew the truth!

I had always felt like I was living a lie - but didn't know why! Now I could be the authentic me - the person I have always wanted to be.

One beautiful bonus or side effect of this questioning taking place was this: The relief for my beautiful Mother! The woman who had taken me from someone who wanted me - but simply couldn't keep me - and gave me a home. The relief for her was huge - and I am so glad that I had asked. And, she was so proud of me for my attitude towards the situation - and that I had jumped in my car straight away and gone to see my whole family who were waiting to see me, so we could all share this new feeling I had discovered in one very special moment on 13th January 2008.

Back in 1950 'the system' advised people who adopted children to never tell the child.
Full stop - no other options - don't tell the child. And that was my parents' biggest dilemma in recent years. I can respect that; and I can understand that; and I am accepting that completely! Without anger, malice or judgement towards anyone. I'm so glad that I can adopt that attitude, so glad.

Today; I have been sharing my new energy with everyone I possibly could. I re-introduced myself to people who I already know, and told them that they had never met the person who was standing in front of them. The new me! I must admit - I had a few interesting responses - but all were full of respect and admiration for what had unfolded yesterday.

I share this story with you all because I know how many people are out there with questions they need to ask about their own lives. Questions that haven't been asked yet - but need to be asked.

Be empowered by the truth - and not afraid of it!

I would like to complete this story of incredible healing by thanking my Mother, Brother and Sister for their love, and my wonderful Father, who passed on a couple of years ago, but who I know loved me as if I was his own flesh and blood. Thank you all for being in my life!

And, for anyone out there who is adopted, or feels that they might be, this little piece of verse is for you:

Chosen Child
Not flesh of my flesh,
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for even a minute,
You did not grow under my heart,
But in it.

© Phil Evans - People Stuff - 2008

Phil Evans discovered this about his life at the age of 57. He is a Motivator, Business Coach, Life Coach and Inspirational Writer based in Australia. You can visit his website at: http://www.peoplestuff.com.au/ or feel free to email Phil with your comments on his story at: phil@peoplestuff.com.au

Did you see how getting your burning questions answered and how much better it can make you feel? I have always been a good advocate of writing down your thoughts and feelings and then if you don't care to share them with someone else... I would just burn the paper once those words were written on the paper and it always seem to make me feel so much better. Is it something that you must tell someone that you have been waiting for the right opportunity, there is no better time than now, how would you feel if they were not there, when you decided to tell them?

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